Red Pandas

Oscar Relentos

This feels like an optimal moment to remind everybody about how awesome and adorable red pandas are.

Arguably the derpiest creatures in the animal kingdom, red pandas spend the majority of their time in random mischief and bumping their faces into walls and other solid objects. They dislike the inherent ‘red panda unfriendliness’ of doors, as they can never seem to open the damn things. And it is a common goal of red pandas to climb at least one human per day, especially humans with snacks.

Their voices are unexpectedly high pitched, and they engage in regular gymnastic routines when bored, as is evidenced at approximately 1:34 in the above video.

Pumpkins are the arch rivals of the red panda. Their primary attack against said rivals is a face smash, where they smash their face into the pumpkin as many times as possible to wear down the pumpkin’s defenses. In…

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